Editors’ note: Welcome to the second round of MoBach reviews and critiques. The people at The Mormon Bachelor are delighted to curb your right to free speech. We are delighted to encourage free speech. The freer, the better. Go, team!

Andrea Candrian

G: Before anything, can I just commend you, Al, for the “Fight!” picture this time around? Beana looks outstanding.

Al: Political looking…. what does that mean?
Geoff: It means Rick has no idea about politics. It’s not political looking. Northern Virginia looks like Orange County with more black people.

A: What’s with the church garb, is this Sunday?
G: Yep. Super Bowl Sunday, to boot.

G: Excellent usage of Def Leppard. They are easily the best glam rock band with a one-armed drummer out there.

G: Look at that joyous, excited hug. Admittedly, I thought Andrea was about 24 in the first video. I don’t know why. She’s clearly all put together and womanly in all actuality.

A: Is this woman related to Andrea?

A: If this is the mom, I think it is, this was a terrible idea for a date. Word to the wise, mother’s on dates are a bad idea. Notice how Andrea sits almost silent while the momma is eating it up. Talk about undue pressure. ugh.
G: Haha, I don’t think it’s her mom, dude, but thanks for the great tirade.

G: I would love to spin her turntable…

A: “Would you lick that off?!” Rick, Utah is calling, they’re ready for your approach to dating.
G: Bwahahahahaha!

G: I love that she asks why he didn’t kiss her. Andrea actually posted an “outtakes” video on her Facebook and while it’s clear she’s ribbing Rick for the sake of good fun, Rick has really bad answers about why he doesn’t kiss her or anything else. Ah, Buckman, we hardly knew ya.

A: hahahah “Who kisses a girl 3 times and doesn’t choose her?” – Excellent question. Bwahaha
G: I know! I love that she called him out! The dirtbag!
G: I hate football. Be advised, women.

G: I will take you to Disneyland, Andrea.

A: Ahhh nothing beats playing wedding on a date, women love that.
G: This makes me want to barf. Granted, I’m sure they hated everyone looking at them.

A: Wow this is really an 8 minute video. The cutting room floor is empty. I don’t think we’ve missed a thing.
G: Well we get no recap vid, so it’s like watching two.

A: I do love DC though. Too bad our nation’s mall is gravel and crab grass. Can we get some Obama movement for that?
G: Blame L’Enfant. Weird music choice for waltzing around DC, btw.

G: Bollard hopping, ftw.

A: I missed that, was there a kiss at the end?
G: No. Never. One has to be too young to rent a car to merit a kiss from Sir Buck.

Beana Hathaway

A: I love the mom grilling him at the beginning. A very concerned mother.
G: If Rick were picking up my daughter I’d have a shotgun in the window.

G: Why?? Bieber Fever? Is NOTHING HOLY????

A: No onions on his 3×3. How presumptuous.
G: The contrast between these two dates is awesome. Andrea had this classy day in DC while Beana has her mom and In-N-Out. Strong.

A: Oh gees, the car singing. A voice only a mother could love.
G: Do I need to share with everyone the “Final Countdown” video we made in Hawaii, Al?

A: The blades of glory esque dance routine is well played. Throw back to when me and Geoff did this to The Young MC’s “Busta Move” Epic.
G: They drove from Coronoa (I assume) to the Spectrum for ICE SKATING??? Because there aren’t any real ice rinks between the two???

A: For Californians, I expected much uglier ice skating.
G: With surfing and skateboarding in our blood, we have natural dexterity and balance.

A: Translation – Beana was lame last time, now she’s fun.
G: I think Beana is always fun. She’s Beana.

A: I can vouch for this, Beana loves sex talk. It can make for some awkward dinner moments.
G: …

A: Two things at the door, first, the classic Beana snort. Second Rick was looking for some lovin, the hand position, the lean in, but wha wha wha… shutdown.
G: Beana doesn’t mack guys she actually likes And yes, that lean-in was painful.

Verdict:

Al: Andrea. Sorry, Beana, but I no longer fear you.

Geoff: Uh, Beana! All the day! Take her! That frees up Andrea. Get in my corner, Al, sheesh.