Editors’ note: For the next few weeks we’ll be critiquing dates on “The Mormon Bachelor.” The folks at MoBach heavily moderate their comments so that everything involves sunshine and rainbows, and we think that is dumb. This is dating, people! Not all of it works or is positive, and we shall address it as such. Your comments and thoughts – uncensored and unedited – are welcome, as always.

Tina Brummitt

Al: Tina has a huge knife, and she’s attending a prom of some sort. I’ve seen this movie, it didn’t end well.
Geoff: Seriously, she scares me.

A: I didn’t recognize you from you application video?
G: I wonder if this girl knows Aubrey or Erin. Otherwise, using their home for the date would be super awkward.

A: First time to California, something tells me this was a high point in the conversation.
G: You know we Californians love to show newbies the glories of our homeland.

G: This poor girl’s experience with California is forever tainted.

G: Is there anything in that salad other than spinach?

A: Firefighters are hot, she just scored major points. Back home is where? West Virginia?
G: Do you even listen to the videos? She’s from Richmond, VA. Female firefighters are never a good thing. That’s a man’s job. Wash my laundry and cook me some dinner, woman.

A: Meatloaf is identified by a Dr. Pepper commercial, my heart is sad.
G: That’s Rick’s signature tune. I’ve watched him sing all ten minutes of it at a karaoke bar. It was…passionate?

G: This date is super, super, SUPER awkward.

A: This is something straight out of Mormon Rap, “Girl we can go to a fireside”
G: “Moooormon. Mormon rap! Chicka chicka chicka Mormon rap!”

G: Nice “random” run-in with Aubs and Tall Guy.

A: What!? Did they forego the communal snuggie? I must know.
G: I think it’s clear that they did, mostly because this is one of the most uncomfortable dates I’ve ever seen.

G: I know I always blabber about the value of the recap videos, but I love Tina’s interview. “We had dinner, and then we got to know each other a little bit during dinner; and then we got to talk on the way to the fireside….”

G: That said, of all the stuff they talk about in their interviews, where were these on the date video? Frolicking in the surf? Singing “Happy Birthday”?

G: Simple rule of thumb: Firesides and/or church are out of bounds for first dates. You just don’t do it. Ever. It’s like taking a girl to a movie while having your spirituality judged.

Melissa Lundquist

A: That man is so pale.
G: I can’t believe Rick’s never been to Dana Point! I love Dana Point!

G: Oh sweet mercy. She is far and away the hottest Bachelorette thus far. I want to go to there.

G: “Works at a salon,” though, is not really my type. No offense.

A: Do you really leash up for paddling? People…
G: Dude, you can’t lose your board! Did you see the currents in that harbor?

G: Difficult thing here, though, is that Melissa is a single mom.

G: I’m loving this woman because she is extremely original. Classic free-spirited SoCal girl.

A: Somebody’s not getting any smooching tonight.
G: Tide pools! I love them!

A: Nevermind, Rick is in love, he tried seaweed to put him back in the running.
G: I can’t help it, but there have been a lot of “That’s what she said” moments here.

A: Then nothin.
G: Melissa is not easily wooed.

G: And some forced hugging/holding in the sunset to finish us off…

Verdict

Al: Melissa for sure, paddle boarding is winner, and she seemed like a pro flirter, Rick is into that.

Geoff: I’d totally say Melissa based on personality and connection, but we can’t rule out the single mom factor. I appreciate Rick’s candor in his synopsis about the single mom thing being new to him, but I really wish that could have made it to the video. That’s an enormous part of Melissa’s life – arguably the biggest – and the videos made no mention of it. It’s really hard being a single mom in general, but especially in the Church. I appreciate the MoBach people letting a little diversity shine through in their selection for this date, but this was an opportunity lost when it came to highlighting an important issue and population segment within the Church.

That said, I have to pick Tina if it’s a matter of who can realistically go on to the next round. This is by no means a slam on Rick, but it takes a very particular man to be OK with the prospect of becoming a step-dad the moment he says “I do.” Not all dudes are OK with that; most aren’t. If Rick is, my hat goes off to him.