It’s one of those weeks – a week filled with loads of unrelated stories, and not one of them a dominant headline. The joy that is your life now that you get to listen!

We do, however, get to our General Conference predictions, which have been pretty spot-on in years past. We look forward to hearing from our leaders this weekend.

Provo-Orem has been polled as the most religious place in the country, beating out other carb-and-grease-loving metropolises in the South. Be wary, dirty south’ners; the Wasatchians are coming for you.

Why can’t Mormons have beards? Shocker, it’s because of BYU’s honor code, not a history of Church policy. Way to be, Cougars!

The Venezuelan government expropriates LDS meetinghouses. Apparently, the sovereign nation of Venezuela does not honor the Fifth Amendment to the US Constitution. Heathens.

A dad points a fake gun at missionaries during a discussion and winds up with 17 months in jail. This is not the first violent incident related to a discussion on the principle of tithing.

David Archuleta. That’s all. No relation to the show. We just want SEO. David Archuleta.

Al poses an interesting question: what do we do with a rising demographic segment in the Church – so-called “atheist Mormons,” or those who have stopped believing, claim not to feel the spirit or see God’s hand in things, but want to remain part of the Church beyond just a social level?

Young Women are urged not to get tattoos or have awkward teenage sex.

Some crap paper claims that the Rome Temple will be the first in Mediterranean region. We have a word for you. It starts with “M” and ends in “D” and is six letters long. Monsters.

Other stuff: The Church is going to BUY Utah State! A family of four gets their mission calls on the same day, and both girls are going to visitors centers, thus proving that men are “real” missionaries; child planning is personal business, argues the Deseret News; the Top 13 Mormon cookbooks; and other stuffs! Tune in!

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