tie-tracking-forever

Greetings, dear children! Our beloved General Conference tradition continues once more as we measure the worthiness of neckwear with our General Conference Tie Tracker™!

You might be new to the world of Tie Tracking™, so here’s a primer: We assess the colors and designs of ties, and then look for patterns and clues that are completely meaningless.

While there have typically been constants—like President Uchtdorf changing ties for every session—sometimes we get surprises, like when President Uchtdorf didn’t actually change for every session last time around.

Enjoy the chart and graphics below as we spent the weekend being spiritually fed and sartorially entertained. Information will be updated in real time, with a synopses posted after every session.

Regarding ground rules, we only count those who speak at the podium but do not pray. Perhaps in future iterations we will include those who pray, but for now, we demur.

As always, we appreciate your help on some of the difficult ones, so comment below or follow us on Twitter and converse.



Sunday Afternoon Session

Lots of talks on repentance, eh? Great stuff all around. We’ve received some terrific insights.

It appears black and silver colluded for some sort of stripey domination, but it was all for not! In our final tally patterns still defeated stripes, but only barely. Red also eked out a victory over blue by a matter of hundredths! This was a close year.

Sadly, no brown of any kind this year, nor much green, nor orange. Big thanks to President Uchtdorf for rocking his coral tie. His is typically the only coral to be found!

For a plug, please tune into our weekly podcast, This Week in Mormons, where we discuss all things Mormon news. This coming week’s show will be devoted to dissecting General Conference. We also encourage you to listen to Sunday School Bonanza, where we provide brief primers of Gospel Doctrine lessons. Just hit up the “Subscribe to Our Podcasts” menu above.

Sunday Morning Session

So, uh, where do they buy this stuff? Elder Ballard’s tie was insane. You surely cannot buy that at Mr. Mac. Or Nordstrom. Or Dillard’s. Or Ross.

ballard

There are no words. But he gave a great talk!

The rest were all pretty safe. We’re always a fan of President Eyring’s fierce striped ties. He’s more historically into stripes than the others. A man of the 70s he be.

Priesthood Session

The big winner was President Monson’s gold madness, or whatever that was.

monson

That thing looks like it was raided from the Liberace estate. Outstanding.

President Uchtdorf also graced us with another of his old reliables: a blue tie with an assortment of colored stripes on it.

uchtdortie

As for the others, Hal kept the same tie he’d had on for the entire day and Elder Holland dazzled us with a periwinkle tie carrying odd gold patterns. It would have won the award for best tie of the session, but nobody was going to touch President Monson on that one.

Saturday Afternoon Session

People learn when they are ready to learn, not when we are ready to teach them!

Thanks, Elder Oaks. While you delivered your powerful remarks, you wore a redish tie with a pattern all over it. This was common throughout the session. In fact, of the six ties worn by speakers, four were red and two were blue, with most ties involving a subtle pattern. This was the most, err, corporate of the sessions as far as dress went. You gotta play it safe during the Saturday afternoon session. After all, you’re already rolling the dice with whatever random choir from Roy you’ve invited to sing.

Will President Uchtdorf change his tie in the priesthood session? He’s changed once today so far!

Saturday Morning Session

What a terrific session of conference! Which talks were your favorites? We’re voting for Sister McConkie and Elder Cornish.

At first, colors and patterns seemed at parity with one another, but then patterns and red started asserting themselves.

Also, big love for Elder Hales, who continues wearing the same black-with-white polka dot tie he’s been busting out for years.

hales

Regardless, the hero of the day is Elder Christensen with that fabulous paisley gem.

Women’s Session

We do not aim to be sexist by any means in not tracking women’s fashion, but we find female attire to be too diverse to categorize as simply and effectively as a tie. Power suits? Faux lapels? Flowers? It’s just too much. Our brains can’t handle it. We don’t know how you ladies do it.

President Uchtdorf gave a great talk on faith, and brought us our first tie in the process. He wore his ol’ tried-and-true baby blue with assorted dots. Nice choice, sir.