It’s here! It’s on! As we’ve done for many, many years—the most years, believe me—it is time to assess the neckwear and other sartorial choices with our exclusive General Conference Tie Tracker™.

It’s pretty straightforward: we keep track of the pattern and colors of every tie of note for the weekend. Basically, the rule is anyone who speaks at the podium aside from giving a prayer (because your eyes are closed and you couldn’t possibly see their tie, right?). So no, MoTab ties don’t count. That would ruin the results. Why would you want that?

Recently we’ve also started including female fashion choices and found some interesting trends. With no Women’s Meeting this conference, we expect far less representation the lovely realm of blouses, power blazers, broaches, necklaces, et al, but we’ll do our best.

For a decent primer, check out last October’s Tie Tracker and see how things went! We’ll have various charts and tables embedded that will update in real time.

Want to get involved? Follow us on Twitter throughout conference weekend and chime in with your thoughts on the gorgeous ties that will be on display.

Arguably our biggest disappointment, if you can call it that, is with Elder Uchtdorf no longer in the First Presidency, we’ll only see him at the podium once the whole weekend. Then-President Uchtdorf was notable for changing his tie every conference.

We’ll also miss Elder Robert D. Hales, who wore the same black polka dot tie every single time.

But enough of that. Onward! Maybe one of the new apostles will wear a bow tie!

General Overview

Gentlemen


Sistaz



Sunday Afternoon Session

Leave it to the Europeans to be the only ones wearing ties that don’t look like they came from Dillard’s. Check out the fine offerings of Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf and Presiding Bishop Gerard Causse.

So much color. So much beauty. So much class (though we’ll ding Causse for apparently tying a double Windsor. He’s been in Utah for too long!).

Jean B. Bingham was also so very, very pink. The pinkest, believe me! It was excellent.

Oh yeah, and Home and Visiting Teaching have been rebranded. No big deal, right?

As far as final analysis, let’s treat address it with a political metaphor.

Look, if it weren’t for everyone splitting the Blue vote and going with a weirdly popular Purple, Blue would have beaten Red. But noooooo, instead Red wins the day by a hair because of all these third party goons. Now look what you’re stuck with! Red for six more months!

Dots did better than usual. Patterns dominated, as usual. We were thrilled to see plaid, which is such a rarity. Sadly, no paisley.

One thing is for sure, swapping out Uchtdorf for Oaks, sorta speak, means a major change in neckwear stylings. We’ll leave the exciting world of pinks and corals and enter that of 80s-esque fierce stripes meant to instill fear in even the strongest men.

Hey, what a great conference! Thanks for playing! We hope you will join us in six months. Maybe we should compare our years of final result and look for long-term trends. Or maybe I need to get a real job and move out of my mom’s basement.

Sunday Morning Session

Stripe party! Stripes are strong and appear to be basically required fashion for Presidents Oaks and Eyring. We already knew of the former’s embrace of fat angles, but greater visibility of Elder Oaks’ has shown us the erstwhile jurist likes his ties strong and his colors bold. No weakness, for Dallin. This is a man who walks the streets of Salt Lake City looking for damaged sidewalks, after all.

In fact, following this session, stripes and patterns are in a dead heat. Who will win?!

On the color spectrum (get it?), Red continued its dominance. It shall not be contravened, nor will it cower.

Priesthood Session

Uh…

Oh wait, we have ties to track, still! So in case you missed it, the elders quorum and high priests group in each ward are now combining, eradicating the high priests group altogether. It’s a huge change for Church organization. Anyway, click the link if you want to learn more. To the necks!

Purple has been the surprisingly strong player thus far, outstripping Blue at a few points before we settled into the sessions. There weren’t loads of new ties this session because of repeats from the First Presidency, but that’s OK! Red was the order of the day, by and large.

As we leave you for the evening, let’s celebrate whatever on earth this is that President Nelson had the chutzpah to wear, and wear handsomely, we might add.

Circles for days!

Saturday Afternoon Session

This was one of the most delightfully meandering sessions as far as neckwear in ages. We covered so much territory!

Plaid made a comeback – twice. Two plaid ties! That worn by delightful Fijian Seventy Elder Wakolo was this gorgeous red plaid insanity. Stunning stuff.

We love him. We want to eat waffles with him.

But that was not all. Noted Ponderizer Devin Durrant sported some sort of gold/green/plaid/checkered tie, and he pulled it off because he is smoother than the Silver Fox. That man had the room eating out of his hand.

And now-released Young Women’s General President Bonnie L. Oscarson, aside from giving probably the best talk of Conference so far, wore a beautiful blazer with not one, or two, but three lapels. Bless her

Elsewhere, we found greater use of Purple and Gold, as well as our first true demonstrations of Yellow, courtesy of Elder Renlund.

Per our prediction last session, Blue’s parity with Red subsided as Red reasserted its dominance over all other colors. One color to rule them all.

Saturday Morning Session

Surprisingly, patterns were everywhere this session. Stripes usually do quite well, but we’re at 43% patterned so far. Look for that percentage to drop.

Red and Blue are in a dead heat right now, both with about 36% of the share of ties thus worn. The two often vie for Pantone dominance, but by the end, Red is typically the winner. They’ll go all 12 rounds, folks.

What was Elder Uchtdorf wearing? We have no idea, because we won’t see him as much!

Major props to Lynn G. Robbins for wearing a tie that looks like it was taken from ancient Egypt, riveting gold and black. So intense. So fierce. So Robbins.

Can we take a moment and talk about how awesome that solemn assembly was? It was the first of the truly social age, and it was terrific. What a great spirit.